Introducing the Lesbo Rider

Perhaps the most rugged vehicle ever produced, this 1995 Subaru Legacy, endorsed by the great tennis player Martina Navratilova herself, has made the journey from Minnesota to Costa Rica.Since I make frequent reference to this Iron Horse in my posts, and because I just discovered how to insert photos into these posts, here it is:

cimg1923

You’ll notice the lack of a license plate under the front grill. This pig is approaching 170,000 miles, of which some 55,000 have been a full-on piss-pounding on Costa Rica’s euphemistically labelled roads. It’s got some problems. The suspension is totally shot. Lots of knobs and dials inside don’t work. No interior or dash lights work. The door locks are all fucked up because somebody jammed a screwdriver into all of them. Sometimes the power steering doesn’t work. The a/c conked out. It’s dented like a crazy man’s tin cup.

But, oh, does it ride smooth. It’s got this huge ass to keep the bumps away from the pilot:

A Fat-Ass Bitch

A Fat-Ass Bitch

Mechanically, it’s sound. I mean, this thing purrs around town. It’s got balls. And it’s fucked up enough to never be the nicest car anywhere I go, which ostensibly should attract thieves elsewhere, but this has not happened. At least I don’t care when it gets dinged up. Which is good, becuase this happens frequently.

Drive to the beach? No problem. Banging along a rocky mountain road? Piece of cake. Slaloming through the clusterfuck of mid-day traffic in San Jose? Bring it on. There’s nowhere I can’t go in the Lesbo Rider.

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One Response to “Introducing the Lesbo Rider”

  1. josefina la ballena Says:

    Al Bundy`s Car!!!

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