The Only Coffee Shop In Town

The only coffee shop where I can sit down, enjoy a steaming cup of joe, open up my computer and work unmolested is the McCafe at McDonald’s. This is an unfortunate fact. It’s not that I love the ambiance, of screaming children, beeping registers, bubbling grease, and a tinny sound system playing cheesy Spanish love ballads at concert volume. But McCafe wins by default. As the police have reiterated in the press, one must not walk around with a laptop computer in public. If one does, and gets rolled, then the theft is classified as “carelessness.” Additionally, most coffee shops lack internet, or comfortable seating, or more than 3 tables, or proper ventilation, or a management policy that prohibits bums from begging or selling pencils or stealing your bun when you’re not looking.

It’s the armed guard at the door, however, that gives me the greatest sense of security at McCafe. I know that I have a persona gumshoe mere feet behind me, ensuring that I reach my parked vehicle intact. Because after dark on the streets, anything goes. So I’ll sit here, sipping my McCappuchino, while some Mexican skank bleats on about how she likes it when you touch her, with an aromatherapy of Special Sauce and stale fries, banging away like one of those monkeys who just might write the complete works of Shakespeare.

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One Response to “The Only Coffee Shop In Town”

  1. Leland Baxter-Neal Says:

    ah yes the comfort of one of costa rica’s highly trained private security agents. reminds of the time i watched a security guard for the Outlet Mall across from Banco Nacional in San Pedro set down his revolver on the steps, turn his back and climb up a chair to try to get the metal shutter for the door to close.

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